My evening at the Gay Porn awards! (gasp!)

My neighbors are both porn reviewers for a local gay publication. This consists of mainly watching gay porn and writing a review of the movie. This sounds like a fun job but they actually have to sit through the entire movie. (meaning the plot and dialogue - the parts most people don't watch) They also have to come up with multiple acronyms for the penis and gay sex acts which I'm sure gets old. They invited me to the GRABBYS - Chicago's annual award show for gay porn. I wasn't sure what to expect.

I knew the reception was starting at 6pm and I was running a little late so I grabbed a cab there. When the cab pulled up I looked out the window and my mouth literally dropped open. All these gay porn stars whom I had only seen on film before were in front of the theatre hugging each other and saying hello. I didn't expect to be starstruck but I definately was. (some were shorter & smaller than they look on film)

Once I got out I saw different entrances to the venue. One was red carpeted and someone in drag (a famous porn editor I found out) was interviewing the stars on camera one by one. I gave my ticket to the usher and decided to get a drink and hang out in the lobby and stare. All around were faces I recognized - I knew them but they didn't know me.

I saw Barrett Long who is one of my favorite performers. He's a baby faced jock looking guy with an enormous.....talent. I wanted to talk to him badly but what should I say? He seemed a little shy and I think he noticed me hovering. Luckily my neighbor came to get me and show me where we were sitting.

I found my neighbors private table and the crowd started to filter in. I was thrilled to discover that our table was next to the TITAN studios table. Titan specializes in very muscular hairy aggressive performers. The stars all filled in and they did not disappoint. All muscular wearing black TITAN wife beater t-shirts. They had muscular arms and chests but tiny waists. Real live action figures.

I didn't realize my neighbors actually voted for the winners. So the porn stars were coming over to say hello to them. This meant I got to meet some of them and luckily I brought my camera to capture this. They were very happy to be in fan photos and I got to put my arms around them...not bad. Very friendly guys who appreciate their fans. (Colin O'Neal - star & director - is a real nice guy)

The show started and it was hosted by Chi Chi LaRue - a famous porn director who dresses in drag (kinda looks like Divine) and co-hosted by local chicago drag diva Honey West. (who actually sings unlike usual lip synching drag queens) They made several crazy and wonderful costume changes throughout the evening. They kept the show moving along and several porn stars came out to present the awards. (Best C*ck, Best threesome, Best Supporting Actor......you get the idea) The people who won the awards seemed genrally pleased to have won and grateful. They didn't mock them despite the hilarious nature of some of the nomination titles. (There was one crazy moment where a porn star read a nominee's name wrong - one of the Titan stars yelled out "I'm gonna knock you out!" and he was not kidding.)

Just like any awards show it went on about 20-30 minutes too long but you exepect that. The most humorous part was that the "Best Picture" nominees all had film clips shown. The Park West won't allow porn to be shown so the film clips were all "acting" or suggestive clips - no nudity. This editing was hilarious! Another highlight was famous comedy writer (and hollywood square) Bruce Vilanch getting an honorary award for attending the awards all these years. He gave a great funny speech as only he can do. (wish I could remember it)

At the intermission I finally worked up my nerve to ask Barrett Long if I could get a picture with him. He ended up being very friendly and told me "anytime" so I guess he was just shy after all. He's very handsome in person and no I didn't see his "talent". (some of the performers were in suits, others tank tops - just depended on their mood - the California awards are more formal I hear) Who wants formal porn stars????

Another favorite Jake Deckard actually said from the stage "this is what you want to see" and made out with another star onstage and rolled around on the ground with him. Later I asked him for a pic, he was super nice and ended up kissing my cheek for the photo. I felt like Marcia Brady meeting Davey Jones.

I realized that the Gay Porn awards have a different feel than the Straight Porn awards. (not that I've been there) This is because no matter how much women say they love doing it - straight porn is inherently misogynisitic. The women are being "used" for male entertainment by males running the show. At the Grabby awards you feel like everyone involved is having a fun time. Men who love having sex with Men doing it on camera and becoming "celebrities" in the process. The Grabbys feel like one big party.

I bet there's fighting, bickering and drama involved. (these are gay men after all) I'm sure it's 'All about Steve' backstage but from the audience it was all fun!

For more info go to www.grabbys.com